Why don't we just leave ALL marriage to the states?

I think the best way to resolve the gay marriage issue is to just leave ALL marriage to the states, gay or straight, and yes that includes interracial marriage. Individual states alone should be allowed to decide what marriages get recognized, which ones get civil unions, etc. and the federal government should have no jurisdiction over it whatsoever. This idea might sound outlandish in this day and age, but the only reason for that is because we have been convinced for so many years that marriage is a "civil right." It's NOT. Yes, it is a civil right to be allowed to form a ual relationship with the partner of one's choice. But, to actually have one's relationship endorsed by society or the government is NOT a civil right. The battle for "marriage rights," whether it's interracial or gay marriage, is not a battle for fairness, equality, or any other respectable cause because they're not fighting for the right to live together as a committed couple,as that right isn't even being threatened; They're just fighting for societal recognition. In my opinion, that's a shallow battle driven by insecurity. If your marriage is valid in YOUR eyes, why should it matter if it's valid in the eyes of a third party? Once we get away from this insecure, "I need the government the give my marriage a badge of honor in order for it to be legitimate" mentality, maybe the idea of harmonizing marriage and federalism won't be so hard to swallow. To even have the federal government involved in marriage at all is just an infringement on states' rights and a gratuitous expansion of their power in the personal lives of American citizens. Whatever happened to limited government?